Grave Markers

Matthew 18:1-14

⁷ Woe to the world because of snares! For there must be snares, but woe to the person who sets the snare!

The Greek word translated as ‘stumbling block’ is “skandalon”. (Yes, it’s where the word “scandal” comes from.) The thing is, it’s very clear that Jesus was thinking of the prohibition in Leviticus against lifnei iver, which usually means giving bad advice to someone on purpose, but literally means to put a stumbling-block in front of a blind person. The only reason for somebody to do that would be in the expectation that the blind guy would trip and fall, and it would be funny to watch.  Pretty reprehensible, yeah?

“Skandalon” literally means “trap-spring” or the mechanism holding a trap open, i.e. a trip-wire. In modern idiom, it could be translated as “booby-trap.” This is particularly apt, because boobys are docile birds and easy to catch, which is why “booby-trap” has the connotation of a trap for the unsuspecting, or innocent, victim.

Modern Jewish law has the phrase “marking graves,” which refers to the effort to prevent people from becoming unclean by walking on a grave unaware that they were doing so. I ran across this quote from Nehama Leibowitz that really struck me: "But the Torah teaches us that even by sitting at home doing nothing, by complete passivity and divorcement from society, one cannot shake off responsibility for what is transpiring in the world at large, for the iniquity, violence and evil there. By not protesting, "not marking the graves" and danger spots, you have become responsible for any harm arising therefrom, and have violated the prohibition: "Thou shalt not put a stumbling block before the blind…"” It struck me so hard because, as a vowed contemplative and hermitage keeper, sitting at home doing nothing and staying separate from society-at-large is exactly what I do. On the other hand, I felt a strong response to the phrase “marking the graves” even before I knew what it meant. I felt that it would be a very valuable thing to do, to make sure that buried things were not lost and forgotten, especially if injustice was involved.

I could not find a single translation that used the phrase “trap-spring,” but my current favorite, The Complete Jewish Bible, came the closest. I wasn’t surprised. Some translations used “offense” and some, “temptation.”

Now take a look at this: “The world is miserable because of traps! Yes, they’re everywhere, but you’ll be sorry if you are the one who goes around springing booby-traps on people!”

Putting that warning together with Leibowitz’s injunction to mark the graves and danger spots, I think I might want to take that job. Not in terms of marching in protest, or donating money to social justice causes, but by doing it in small, personal ways. I believe I might be doing it already, sort of instinctively. A memory just came to me of talking to a nice lady at the senior center who was complaining about people who say that they don’t want any gifts for Christmas. She announced, quite vehemently, that she was going to give them presents anyway. So I said to her, “That would be called 'coercive gift-giving', wouldn’t it?” She looked confused. So I decided to let my Asperger’s out to play and said, “Okay, if it was me, and I told you I didn’t want any presents and then you gave me one anyway, you would literally be forcing me to decide what to do with the present I didn’t want. If I didn’t think that just throwing it away would be a responsible thing to do, then I would have to decide what to do with it, right? That’s what makes it coercive, you see? So maybe you could ask the person what their favorite charity is, and then make a donation on their behalf. Then you could give them a card telling them that’s what you did.”

I thought she would be annoyed with me for being so blunt, but instead she gave me a big hug and said, “I just love the way you put things! That’s exactly what I’ll do.” I was surprised, because I thought I was being a bit confrontational, but apparently not.

Now, I know that this was a trivial thing, but I think it was exactly what Jesus was talking about. She was about to spring a trap on the poor soul who did not want any gifts, and, even though it was a little trap, it was a trap that would have led straight to the temptation to resent the coercive gift-giver.

As far as the metaphor of ‘marking the grave’, well, the grave I marked was the hidden contempt and disrespect implicit in giving someone a gift after they told you that they did not want one. And guess what, my friend at the senior center saw that grave and stepped right around it, and the reason she stepped around it was that once she saw it she knew, all on her own, that it was not something she wanted to do.

How do I know where the graves are?

Because there is only one graveyard, and I remember.

All of us have stood

above those selfsame graves

holding shovels.

I simply stopped at the gate before I left,

went back with two crossed sticks,

tied them with string,

and stuck them in the naked earth.

Now we will all remember.