Excuse Me

Matthew 12:43-50

⁴³ “When an unclean spirit comes out of a person, it travels through dry country seeking rest and does not find it. ⁴⁴ Then it says to itself, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house standing empty, swept clean and put in order. ⁴⁵ Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they come and live there — so that in the end, the person is worse off than he was before. This is how it will be for this wicked generation.”

Ancient belief held the common understanding that demons and evil spirits lived in the desert.

What about Desert Spirituality then? “Flee; Be Silent; Be Still (Pray Always)”

Why go into the desert on purpose in search of God?

Why flee?—and from what?

Why be silent?

Why be still?

“Amma Theodora said, “Let us strive to enter by the narrow gate. Just as the trees, if they have not stood before the winter’s storms cannot bear fruit, so it is with us; this present age is a storm and it is only through many trials and temptations that we can obtain an inheritance in the kingdom of heaven.”

She also said that neither asceticism, nor vigils nor any kind of suffering are able to save, only true humility can do that. There was an anchorite who was able to banish the demons; and he asked them, “What makes you go away? Is it fasting?” They replied, “We do not eat or drink.” “Is it vigils?” They replied, “We do not sleep.” “Is it separation from the world?” “We live in the deserts.” “What power sends you away then?” They said, “Nothing can overcome us, but only humility.” Do you see how humility is victorious over the demons?”  (from Sayings of the Desert Fathers)



It’s a tidy little paradox— To find God, go where the demons live.

It’s no good to sweep out your innermost being as if it were a housecleaning project, unless you remain there in that clean, still place and take up residence. Jesus says, “it finds the house standing empty..”

The other thing that is disturbing to me is the idea that humility is something that can be achieved. That is the worst kind of misunderstanding. I don’t know how to be humble, I have no assembly instructions for humility. One synonym for humility, though, is “unpretentious.” I can certainly examine my own attitudes and actions to determine whether or not I’m being pretentious. It’s a negative approach, rather than a positive one, which reminds me of the phrase “via negativa” — which is the apophatic understanding that God can’t be known, only experienced. Any description of God must rely only on the knowledge of what is not God.

I supposed this is where the desert comes in. The desert is where we may experience all that God is not.



We have to be unpretentious enough to go out there expecting to find not a damn thing!



The silence is just the silence, the stillness is only the absence of movement and sound.

God is not out there in the desert where the demons wander; God is not anywhere to be found.



I suppose that the essence of humility might simply be the lack of excuses.

If fleeing is useless and pathetic, and I have no excuse for escaping, but I run away anyway?

If silence embarrasses me because there’s no rationale for keeping it, but still I keep it?

If keeping still is pointless and silly, and it won’t give me any sort of alibi, but still I practice it?

I can see how that attitude could work when it comes to answering those demons—

Demons only know stuff that needs to be justified; they only understand stuff that has plenty of reasons to account for it.

Demons don’t get it when they poke a person with their pitchforks, and all that happens is that the person yells, “Ow!”

Demons get confused when they try to persuade a person that they are naïve and foolish, and all the person says is, “Okay.”

I’m not saying that demons are tangible creatures; let’s be clear on that. No, they are more like the leaves that blow in under the garage door; or the dish that I want to use still sitting dirty in the sink.

Those demons only get ahold of me if I start hating the choices they give me. If I’m not okay with either sweeping the garage or not sweeping it; if I resent washing my dirty dish only to get it dirty again, but I also feel guilty about leaving it in the sink and using a clean one from the cupboard.



If a demon says to me, “Go out into the desert and you will find God,” I think a good answer might be, “How do you know?”





Old Man Zen says, “Umm, excuse me — how do you get to the desert from here?”